This post may contain affiliate links. I get commissions for purchases made through these links.
Most parents don’t expect their babies to end up in the NICU. So when it happens to you, you may not know what to expect or how to handle everything.
When my baby was lifeflighted to a NICU, I spent many hours online in my empty hospital room trying to learn everything I could about our new normal. While nothing could have prepared me for what I went through during my baby’s 39-day NICU stay, here are a few things I learned that I hope may help someone going through this rough experience:
Keep a Journal
I think I was in a bit of denial at first. I didn’t think my baby would be in the hospital for very long. As time went on, it became more and more obvious we were in it for the long haul. I started writing out stats and things I’d texted my family so I had a record to look back on, and I wrote a few paragraphs every day for the last two weeks or so. I’m so glad I did, and I wish I had more from the first days and weeks.
It was therapeutic to type up my thoughts. It helped me process everything we were going through. And someday my son might want to know more about what it was like when he was in the NICU.
Take all the Pictures (and Videos!)
It may not seem like something you want to re-live now, but trust me, you’ll want to be able to look back on these times. Your baby will likely want to see where they lived the first days or weeks of their life. You can look back and see how far they have come.
Of course, take pictures of the baby. But take all the other pictures, too. Take pictures of the whole room, the machines, the white board with the daily information, the random sea turtle on the floor that you stare at everyday. Take pictures of the room number, the hallway you walk down to the NICU entrance, the scrub sink. I got pictures of the big things, like the life flight helicopter, but I wish I had thought to get pictures of our favorite nurses and so many other details, too.
Also, take videos! I only have a few and wish I had more. The first few months home I couldn’t stand listening to the beeping of all the machines and alarms in the background. The videos are still difficult to watch, but I love seeing how far my baby has come. It’s also fun to know what he is like now, watch videos, and see hints of his personality back then.
Start a Milk Storage System
If you happen to pump, you may be given little bottles to bring to the NICU. I loved the bottles. It’s kind of funny to me how proud I was to fill a bottle or two of milk. It really is exciting! I actually pumped way more than my baby needed each day, and the NICU nurses asked me to stop bringing milk in after about two weeks.
I continued using the 4 ounce bottles and hospital labels for a while. While the bottles are useful now that I’ve used the frozen milk, they were not ideal for home storage or for thawing milk. I put however much I pumped into each bottle and had no way of knowing how much was there to thaw. Plus, the milk was a big block that took days to thaw in the fridge.
I would recommend using breast milk storage bags at home. Fill them with full ounces of milk (not 3.75 or 5.25 ounces like I did), label them, and organize them.
Click here for more tips on pumping and breast milk storage.
Ask All the Questions
Again, I think I was in a bit of denial. I didn’t think I needed to immerse myself in the NICU world. I was also timid and fearful. By the end of my baby’s stay, I asked every question I could think of. Sometimes I felt silly. Sometimes I didn’t get clear answers. Okay, I didn’t usually get clear answers. And sometimes I got different answers from each person I asked.
I’ve learned I often can’t know things for sure. I’ve learned not to expect definitive answers. But I ask anyway. I wish I’d asked more and learned things like the weight conversion from grams to pounds. I wish I’d gotten more involved in rounds. I wish I’d talked to the nurses more so it wasn’t so uncomfortable.
Take Advantage of Available Resources
We spent time at three different hospitals, and it took time to get used to each one. There are so many people available to you. There are doctors, specialists, lactation consultants, various therapists, and social workers, just to name a few. There are parent lounges, snacks, parent get-togethers, toy rooms, and movie nights for siblings.
Because we switched hospitals, didn’t think it was long term, and had a toddler at home, we didn’t use everything available to us. I wish I’d talked to more people, set up primary nursing, started using the pumping room sooner, and taken breaks to eat more.
Every NICU stay, baby, and parent is different. What works for one may not work for another. What tips have you heard? What has been the most helpful for you personally?
